When I was a little kid, I thought out every scenario in my head. Life scenarios, of course. What is odd is that part of me thinks that most kids don’t ever think like that, and probably won’t when they’re older. Some people just go with the flow, whereas others think of things, and things in a deeper way. I can recall being 10 years old, thinking about life, the meaning of it, what we’re here for, and I would try to grasp just how large the Universe is. In reality, we cannot begin to grasp it, because we don’t know how large it is; it could be infinite. When I thought of life scenarios, I would think in my head, “If I don’t enjoy something, I just won’t do it.” Now that I’m older, 20 years of age to be exact, I think back on those moments very often. I think about what changed the way I think now? Like, if I don’t enjoy something, why do I do it anyway? Is it the pressures of society, the world, culture, etc? I could sit here and list so many different possible reasons, but I know as we get older, life gets busier, and we give ourselves the excuse that we don’t have time to think about matters such as life and it’s scenarios. In reality, it’s very healthy to think about life and random scenarios. Another thing I didn’t even understand when I was younger was break ups. I would say to myself, “why is that person so upset? If they broke up with so and so, or so and so broke up with them, then it wasn’t meant to be, right?” I literally could not grasp the level of emotion they were feeling, and therefore, I was more detached. I never could grasp why some were more dramatic than others and I’ve always had an inner-knowing so to speak, that everything that happens will happen for a reason and if it doesn’t happen, there’s a good enough reason why it didn’t. At a very young age, I seemed to understand this. Many 10 year old kids don’t think about matters such as this. Instead they are focused on their video games, or in today’s day and age, their smartphones, just as many of us (regardless of age) are today. As I was pondering through life moments (which I do quite often), the thought of me being a child and thinking of these profound situations really interested me. I was wondering why did I think of life scenarios? How did I have the brain capacity to even begin to understand anything? I mean, I was so young, right? When I was that young, I couldn’t even level with those who were the same age as me. I was a rule follower and never a rule breaker, so if I got “inside recess” (detention), I was very upset…and I mean, very. I seemed to clique with the teacher well before the students, and developed a one-on-one relationship with them, and honestly preferred it that way. I wanted them to understand me and I understood them naturally. Maybe I stand out still to this day to some people. Maybe people look at me and go, “wow, the way that boy thinks is really strange” or they think positively about me like, “wow, that boy has a lot of wisdom!” It would be interesting to know, although I don’t really care that much. As long as I’m my truest self, that’s all that matters.
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